I finally made it to my sonogram appointment and I always love seeing those fuzzy gray shapes that resemble a baby! The moving pictures are always better than the still photographs. I got to see the baby yawn and wave...the heart beat sounded wonderful and everything looks great! Yea! Thank you, God!
My search for a doctor still continues, though. I have gone to a birthing center with a midwife for my last three births, but my last birth was quite a bit more difficult. With my age and the last difficulties, my midwife said I really needed to go to a hospital for this one. I had come to terms with that and started my search...how in the world do you find a good ob/gyn??? Late nights searching the internet, looking at hospitals and the one comment about the doctor. I have just been praying! It turns out the doctor that was connected with the sonogram said he would do a C-section. He didn't even talk to me or really give me any reasons. He actually didn't even talk to me, it was the receptionist who rather rudely informed me of his decision.
I will back up with more of my history. My fourth pregnancy was my twin boys. I did have a c-section with them because they were feet first and twisted all sorts of ways. Thirteen months later I gave birth to my daughter in the same hospital with a very uneventful VBAC. We moved shortly after that and found a wonderful midwife who was willing to try a VBAC three more times with me. I think I only realized now how AMAZING (and what a God-given grace!) that was for us. The past two days I have not found a hospital or a doctor that will do a VBAC with me!! Automatic planned c-section only. I guess the hard thing for me is that I feel like I am not the best candidate for another VBAC anymore, but that does not mean that I don't want to hear reasons and at least discuss it with the doctor. I did find a much kinder nurse and doctor who at least pretended to sympathize with me. That did make me feel better, and I decided I would make an appointment with him instead of the first one.
The whole idea that once you have had a c-section you will always have one, is SO detrimental to the idea of having more kids. My dear friend, who just had her eighth baby, had to have an emergency c-section. She was in tears when I went to visit her, because she was afraid she would have to have c-sections from here on out. I did not realize at that time how true that might be! Just the little research that I did showed how basically safe VBACS can be.
VBAC researchI found out most of the time it is the hospital's policy that prevents the doctors from being able to help a patient with a VBAC. The main thing behind that is the insurance policies won't cover the hospitals if they allow VBACS. What a mess!!! The other hard part is that midwives really can't take the risk of a first time VBAC either! ARGGG! This really does make me angry.
Yet it does make me amazed and thankful that I was able to have my first VBAC at the hospital so that could pave the way to my other midwife delivered VBACS. God has always provided a way for us to obey Him!
I feel like I have been ranting and raving..., but the bottom line is I am excited about this new little one entering our family. I read Proverbs 3:5-8 this morning and was comforted by our Lord's wisdom instead of mine.
Resting In Him,
Susan
